Deserve ain't got nothing to do with it.

I’ve been away from this blog for awhile. Summer frolicking, Swine flu, work, bicycles, and malaise are a few reasons. As winter settles across our wide and hallowed land, I find myself once again inspired to blog.

What’s different in life now? I work all over the damn place: Montana, North Dakota, and Arkansas.

My relationship with work ebbs and flows between inspiring, humbling, challenging and the worst kind of middle managment pass-thru asshattery. At least it brings more excitement and better colleagues than 90% of jobs I could get right now.

Something to work on.

I also own a home. My mother and I bought an old duplex together. Good look. I pay the water bill. New big rule - if it’s yellow, let it mellow (eat less asparagus).

Somebody knocked my BMW bike over. I spent a bunch of time working on a Mercedes. I have a lot of projects for the winter - more than time. I rediscovered my love, and the challenge of bicycling. I’ve nary lifted a weight in anger in months - but old injuries have healed…

And I’m in Little Rock tonight.

Not really, it just gives me some time to myself. I traveled from Milwaukee to South Bend, IN today. It took about 4 hours because I has to spend a lot of time driving slowly through a fettid, traffic clot of a shitty that some people call “chicago” (more on Chicago, in general, later). 

I’m in South Bend to help get some things going for work down here. Mainly, a canvass.

In the last month or so, since the project I came aboard to lead was mercifully scuttled, I’ve bounced around from city to city to “troubleshoot.” It was mostly aimless, and harmless.

In the last couple of weeks, I didn’t have a ton to do. It bothered me. Even with the sunshine, the time to hit the gym, the road, work on bikes and trucks and all of the things that twinkle endlessly in my daydreams - not having work fucked me up. I looked at other jobs, other places, other ideas…and once again realized that this happens to me OVER AND OVER AND OVER. As much as I like 50’s style and grey flannel suits and tweed and shit, I don’t seem to be much of a company man. 

Maybe my expectations for new gigs are always too high. Maybe I actually have no idea what I’m capable of. Maybe I’m not mature enough to handle responsibility. Maybe our generation is just straight CURSED with a feeling that we should be running things, eternally lacking the perspective and experience to do it well. At least, without a fucking grown up around. 

Anyway, hit the streets. Peace. 

A holding pattern? I’ll show you a holding pattern…sheeeeeeeit.

Take your scarves off, this isn’t the FC Barce game, or Barce, or the desert, or a train robbery, or really winter, or your big chance to impress another pinche cobarde.

Effs.

I would like to sit in a chair, but I guess it’s more important that everyone’s jackets and sundries get a seat first.

Cocksuckermotherfuckerarrrrrgh.

Weather like this makes me want to be a pagan. It’s about 1000 degress and sunny in Milwaukee. The fifteen inches of snow that blessed us this week has melted. 

There’s a gently humming motorcycle in the garage. Mingled with the sound of snowmelt meandering down the roof, it’s a symphony that means one thing…spring is coming. 

I want to worship the sun and the god(s) that bring this joy. 

I know that we’ll have another blizzard, another deep freeze, we may still all starve. That risk makes days like this so exciting. 

Ok here I am in a bathroom stall. Attendant. No cash. What’s the move blogosphere….WHAT’S THE MOVE???